I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
