he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
