i was rollin on her like bob the builder
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
