I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
