i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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