Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
