Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
