My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
