It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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