this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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