know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
