Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
