Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
