I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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