Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
