Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
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