we have officially lost it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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