Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
