it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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