We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dicks are not precious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
