worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
