I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
