my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
