Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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