People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
