Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
