i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
