I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
