Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
