margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
