I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
