what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
