was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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