There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
