My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
