I think I just saw someone hide a body.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
