You're a womanizer and a bitch.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
is it fun? or sober?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
