is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You're breaking my sexual little heart
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
