The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
