She said her name was "party"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
