what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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