We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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