How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
