She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
