honey bunches of taint.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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