I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
