Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm at about main and main street
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
