im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I understand Curling. That high.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
