We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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