Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
