i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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