don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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